It's not even yours...
You're on the train station platform waiting for your train to arrive and you notice that everyone walking by you is leaving their bags at your feet or by your side... Then you hear it... Your train is approaching the platform, but you're bogged down by all of these bags that aren't even your... what do you do?
Obviously you leave that shit and hop on the train with just the bags you brought with you... duh. We all know not to look after unattended bags, let alone take them with us...
But what if those bags weren't just bags, what if they were other people’s emotional baggage? How does that change... stop and think about it...
How many times in your life have you ALLOWED someone to drop their emotional baggage on you and how many times have you gotten on the train with that emotional baggage... I'm going to guess a lot. I'm guilty of it too...
For a really long time I carried around other peoples emotional junk, we all have, mine was from my parents. Shout out to my mom and dad... (by the way they are amazing, but parents mess their kids up, it's in the job description). I took on some of their personal ish over the years... and you took on your parents ish... and my kids will take on mine... it's the way it goes, there is no blame to place, it is no ones fault, it's just what happens.
But here's the thing... it is your fault if you choose to get on your train of life with someone else’s baggage knowing that it's not yours to take... that is on you. It is your responsibility to always be checking and looking for the baggage that someone abandoned with you and it is on you to do the work to break the ties to it and leave it behind.
I hear you, it is soooOOOooo much easier to blame everyone else, to say "Hey this is your fault!" but the truth is it's on you to let the baggage go. I've spent the last year and a half sorting through the bags at my feet, saying ohhh mhm this is mine, nope that's not mine, and where the hell did I pick this up?! I've inspected my bags, I've looked to see who I may have dropped some of mine off with because I need to find them and take back ownership.. but all of this is on me.
It takes a lot of work, self-awareness, and healing... but you get to choose what baggage you take with you. You get to make the choice on what affects you and what doesn't. You have the option to leave it all behind and lighten your load, but you have to be willing to take ownership and stop blaming everyone around you who left the baggage with you.
I'm going to botch the quote, so I'm not even going to try, but Wayne Dyer once said something to the effect of if I were to take the person that hurt you, caused you harm, the person you blame and fix them and get them to see their ways, would that fix you? No, it wouldn't. Their healing and acceptance of their behaviors and actions have no bearing on your healing and ability to move on.
What he is getting at is that your healing, your baggage, your ish is all on you. It's not dependent on someone taking ownership, or an apology, of someone coming to claim the bag they left you with. You need to make the choice for yourself to heal, to let go, to leave what isn't yours behind.
I have plenty of my own baggage that I have created over the last twenty-five years for myself, I don't need to take anyone else's with me.
Living life to the fullest, practicing and teaching yoga, just trying to figure the world out. I always keep it real and honest, even when life gets a bit sucky, because it definitely does. Just sharing my thoughts and musings and trying to spread a little light along the way.