Slowing it down

I’ve had the flu for the last week and it’s been complete torture, not becuase I don’t feel well, but because there’s not much I can do and I’m not able to go about things with as much energy as I usually do, it’s truly frustrating for me. I am a go, go, go person and when I finally power down I’m totally done, there’s really no in between for me.

When we moved to Charlotte almost two months ago that was I was going to unplug from constantly rushing and slow way down, and I have... sort of. I’ve dipped my toe into slwoing down, being more intentional about how I spend my time and what I do with it... but I wouldn’t say I’ve embraced slowing down.

Being sick physically forced me to take a moment and be still. My body is physically asking me to reset, to find a new tempo, and be okay with that. I’m 200% a dreamer and big plan maker, always thinking about the big dreams I’m working towards, seeking out opportunities, always on the lookout... which is great, except for when you’re trying to be more tuned into what’s infront of you, to be more present, to be more aware of the smaller details, the tiny moments.

I’m taking time today to define what slowing down looks like for myself, what it is that I want to gain from slowing down, what it is that I’m trying to balance out within myself. We all have beliefs that drive us, deep subconscious beliefs about ourselves, the world around us, and what those interactions look like... by slowing down a bit more, even in my thoughts and master planning, I’m hoping to understand why I always feel the need to be operating on all cylinders, how and why I’ve allowed that shape my own identity... and how I can find a bit more ease and peace in my own mind by slowing down and being more in the flow rather than trying to create flow.

It’s time to truly work on trusting that as much as I need to create the life I want, I also need to trust that what is seeking me will find me at the right time, all of this extra spinning in my head and with my time is not bringing anything closer to me any sooner, so it’s time to slow down, to pay attention to the details, to be clear and open all at the same time, and to work on trusting that things will align as they should.